Whisper Read online

  Fallon’s round face falls the instant the elevators open on the bottom floor. She quickly forces a smile back onto her face, and the whole process looks incredibly painful. She tugs at the hem of her bright yellow crop top and rubs her hands along the sides of a pair of sparkly pink leggings. “You brought your sister? Great! Hi!” She holds out a hand. I ignore it and slide past her. She squeezed her long frame into something a bit less tacky today. Good for her.

  “She hates me,” she whispers.

  “No, she doesn’t,” Jerod says. “She’s here, isn’t she?”

  I stop short in the entrance to the bar. Logan is already seated at a round table off to the left. And next to him sit Griffin and Kaius. No. That’s too many people. I’m not in the mood. But Jerod is ready with a hand on my shoulder the second I turn around.

  “What?” He winks and pushes me forward.

  “Happy hour!” Logan drops from his stool and pulls an extra one up from another table. He places this on his left, next to Griffin, and claps my brother on the back. “What’s up, brother?” He winks at Fallon and lifts his shot glass in a toast.

  She flushes pink and twists a long lock of lifeless blonde hair around her finger.

  I narrow my eyes at her. She catches this and drops her own to the table. I hate her. Probably the only thing she’s been right about in her entire life.

  “How are you?” Griffin asks, leaning in a little.

  I draw my arms in closer to my body. “Fine.” I feel trapped. The table teeters a little and I reach out to steady it before anyone notices. This was such a bad idea. I eye the small amount of space behind Logan’s chair and wonder if I can get my ribs through that.

  Kaius sits low in his seat, stirring his amber liquid with a straw and not drinking any of it. His eyes meet mine, and for a moment, he smiles. Then he goes back to gloomily staring at his glass.

  So Jerod’s position is bothering him. We haven’t had a chance to talk since they got back from Italy.

  “I think I’m going to buy a motorcycle,” Logan says. He lifts a tanned hand and signals the waitress before running his fingers through his short crop of brown waves.

  I tune him out and stare down at my hands. I hate my life.

  “Have you given any more thought to Thursday?” Griffin asks.

  “What?” I peel my eyes away from the table.

  He’s smiling at me. Why is he always smiling? “Open mic?”

  “No. Um. Not yet.”

  “No one understands you like I do.”

  I wince a little at the low, distorted whispers.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, honey, was that your foot?” Logan leans back in his seat some to peek under the table. His hand makes contact with my knee while he does this. I curl my fingers into my palm before I smack him.

  The waitress stops by and flashes a too-bright smile at Jerod. “I’ve missed you.”

  “Have you?” He takes his eyes off the drink menu long enough to return her smile. “I didn’t think you’d notice I was gone.”

  She leans in so close her hip is nearly pressing into his. “I noticed.”

  Fallon’s lips purse. “I’ll have a mineral water with lemon. No ice.”

  The waitress’s expression falters for a moment. “And you, hon?” She nods to my brother.

  “I’ll take a mint julep.”

  “Okay. And you?” She blinks big eyes at me.

  “I’m good.”

  She shrugs, gives my brother another smile, and sways off to the bar. Fallon glares after her.

  “Jaaade?”

  I take in a long, deep breath.

  “I didn’t leave you by choice.”

  I need to get out of here.

  “The drugs forced me out. I fought for you. You do know that?”

  “How’s the agency search going?” Logan asks Fallon.

  She avoids making eye contact with anyone while she picks at the black polish on her nails. “Oh, you know. Some people are saying I’m too short. Some are saying my thighs are too big. Some are saying I’m perfect, but they’re only looking for people with exotic features right now. I’m hopeful though. I’ve only been a few places.”

  I roll my eyes before I can stop myself.

  “Did you get a chance to talk to your mom?” she asks Jerod.

  “No, not yet. I will. Don’t worry.” He leans over and plants a kiss on her powdered cheek. She is tall enough to be a model, though just barely. It’s her face that’s holding her back. It’s basic as hell. There are a thousand girls who look just like her on this block alone. She doesn’t stand a chance without help, and unfortunately for her, my mom hates her more than I do. I’m pretty sure Jerod knows this, too, but he’ll wear Mom out before he gives up.

  The waitress returns with their drinks and lingers around long enough to earn herself another glare from Fallon. When she’s safely out of the picture, Fallon slips from her stool. “I’m gonna run to the restroom.”

  Logan watches her leave and then turns a crooked grin to Jerod. “Are you sure you want to settle down, man? You’re just getting started. You got a fancy new job. You’ll be Chicago’s most eligible bastard in a minute.” He nods to the waitress. “You really want to give that up?”

  Everyone laughs but me and Kaius.

  “I don’t know.” Jerod gazes off in the direction of the restrooms. “She’s cool, don’t you think?”

  “Sure.” Logan takes a sip from his glass. “But so are a lot of other women.”

  “Maybe.” He stares into his drink. “She makes me happy.”

  “Dude.” Logan shakes his head. “A lot of girls can make you happy.”

  I have to agree with him there. He nudges me with his elbow, and I have to resist a second urge to slap him.

  “Look at your sister. She’s in no hurry to settle down, are you?” His eyes trail over my work outfit. “Do you have to dress like that?”

  “Obviously.” I shift some in my seat so I’m closer to Griffin.

  Fallon returns with a smile. “Miss me?” She nuzzles my brother’s shoulder.

  Oh, gag.

  Griffin sees my face and laughs. “He dragged you out, huh?”

  “Yeah…I’m not going to let that happen again.”

  “Jaaaade…talk to me, please.”

  I bite down on my lip. What is going on? Am I that freaking stressed right now?

  “I’ve been trying to reconnect with you. For so long…I’ve tried. Every day I’ve tried.”

  “I’m performing some original music tomorrow,” Griffin says. “I’d really like you to hear it. I’d like your opinion. I know you have a good ear for music.”

  According to who?

  “There’s so much I never got to tell you.”

  My nails dig deeper into my palms. I can’t do this. Between Griffin and Logan and my brother all talking at once…and that voice. Agitation builds up in my chest, threatening to boil over into a scream.

  “You know what,” I say to Griffin. “I’ll stop by.”

  “Yeah?” His brows shoot up his forehead.

  “Sure. Why not? I have to go.” I push at Logan’s seat.

  “Whoa, where you running off to?” Logan eyes my hands.

  Kaius drops away from the table. “Actually, I need her help with something right quick.”

  Jerod’s face falls a little, and I wonder if there’s been some tension between them.

  Logan stands and lets me pass. I wave a quick goodbye to the table and follow Kaius out into the lobby. We head for the office elevators and the second they close us in, Kaius throws a kick into the wall.

  I jump a little, and he gives me a small, apologetic smile.

  “Sorry.” He lets out a long breath.

  “Life sucks sometimes, huh?”

  He nods. “I mean, I am so happy for him. If this was any other corporation. But I’ve been in this office learning the business from top to bottom since I was twelve, and he gives VP to Jerod, who only showed up for parties. How’s that fo
r nepotism?”

  I lean against the cool steel wall. “Yeah.”

  “I’m trying so hard not to treat him any different, but he’s my boss. It’s so messed up.”

  “What does your mom think?”

  The elevator opens and we walk across the office to the set that leads up to the residences.

  “You can probably guess what she thinks,” he says. “She thinks Dad’s a lunatic.”

  I like Vivian. She didn’t take any of my father’s crap, unlike my own mother. The very second she found out he was cheating with my mom, she left him.

  “He’s just such a damn liar,” Kaius says. The elevator stops on his floor. He hangs out in the entrance. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m going off like this.”

  “Yes, you do. And I’m glad. I’ve been wondering how you’re doing.”

  A half smile touches his lips. “Not too well right now. How about you?”

  “About the same.”

  He nods. “I need some time alone, but call me later if you want to talk. Or just stop by.”

  “Definitely.”

  He steps into the hall, and the doors shut me in alone.

  “He’s right…your father lies….”

  The drawn-out hissing fills the elevator. I peer into the corners, the ceiling. It sounds so real. So loud. So close.

  “Come find me. I will tell you everything.”

  The elevator stops on my floor. Per usual, Marley is in the hall stretching.

  “Hey, Jade!”

  Her bubbly voice grates against my ears. I offer up a half-hearted wave and tuck my hands under my arms.

  “Everything you’ve been told about me is a lie.”

  I shut the door behind me and sink down to the floor. A hot tear clings to the corner of my eye. I don’t know where it came from, or why. If it’s because I’m frazzled. If I’m sad for Kaius. Father always told him the job would be his when old Trace Walters finally croaked or retired. His wife finally forced him into retirement a few months ago. He’s staying on a while longer to help Jerod settle in, but after that he’ll be in Hawaii for a long and much-deserved vacation.

  “Let me help you…talk to me…find me.”

  I press my hands against my ears, like that will block it out. It’s never blocked it out.

  “Please…talk to me.”

  The tear finally falls, streaking a warm, wet path down my cheek. “What do you want?” I whisper to the tiles.

  “Come find me.”

  6

  There Is A Door

  I sit up in bed for nearly the hundredth time. I’ve been trying to fall asleep for hours. Every time I start to drift, I think about Aunt Alara and imagine her free-falling into a black river. I rub at my temples.

  Come find him. How? How can I find something that only exists in my head?

  How bad was it for her? How many voices did she hear? For me, there’s just one. There’s only ever been one. The same one.

  I slide out of bed and pad into the adjoining bathroom. I leave the lights off, but even in the darkness I can see that the structures are too bright for my taste. Everything is white and silver and cream. I sit on the cold flat edge of the tub and rub my temples. The silence is thick in here.

  Alara probably never had a moment of silence like this.

  I leave the bathroom and go into the living room. The windows let in light from the city below, illuminating the open space. I maneuver around a giant u-shaped sofa and sit behind the grand piano close to the wall.

  The gray couch and light walnut-colored piano are the only things I was given a say in, and my options were few. White or walnut for the piano and white, beige, or gray for the couch.

  I trail my fingers over the surface for a moment and then press down on the heavy keys. The silence fills with soft music. Piano and harp lessons were forced on me to help me block out the voice. When I was transferred from the inpatient clinic to Holy Mary’s, I abandoned the harp but kept playing the piano. It was one of the few times they would let me out of my room outside of classes. Playing was soothing.

  “I love listening to you play.”

  My fingers halt over the keys.

  “You don’t have to stop.”

  I suck in a deep breath and close my eyes. I just need to figure out what’s causing this. Then it’ll go away. Stress, right? What am I stressed about?

  “Jaaade?”

  Yesterday was my birthday. That’s always stressful. Jerod is vice president, effectively making him my boss. Stressful. I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Or tonight, thus far. Also stressful.

  “Talk to me.”

  I bite down on my lip and focus on the moonlight splayed across the top of the piano. I resume playing, as softly as before, even though there’s no one around to hear me. I sing along to the harmony, keeping my voice fainter than the music.

  The voice rises in my head, singing along with me. “Running from you, I’m falling too fast. I cannot…”

  I almost smile. Writing lyrics was a good way to pass the time at the preparatory school, but I haven’t played this song since I’ve been here.

  The singing is almost comforting. Under the hissing, there’s a smooth, pleasant baritone.

  The voice continues to sing without me. “You cannot be here with me. You’re not real.”

  I stop playing. It’s so tempting to talk to it. But the more I talk back, the more it chatters away. I can’t do that.

  “You haven’t played in a while.”

  I drop my hands to my lap. Tears sting my eyes. I don’t know why.

  “You have a beautiful voice. I miss it.”

  “Please, stop.” The words slide out before I can stop them.

  “I don’t understand.”

  I get up from the piano and move to stand in front of one of the windows. I drum my nails against the glass as I gaze down into the lights. They replaced all the windows in the penthouses a month before I moved in. The panes don’t open. Not in my place or Marley’s. Not even a little bit. My father said it was because it was more aesthetically pleasing this way, but I know it’s so no one can jump. So I can’t jump.

  “Is that song about me?”

  “Most of them are.” I pinch my lips together. I need to stop this now.

  “I am real, dear one. Who told you I wasn’t?”

  I squeeze my fists together. “Everyone.”

  “They are wrong. I can prove it.”

  I turn away from the window.

  “Come find me.”

  Cool air presses in around me. I should just go back to bed. Put some music on. Daydream about traveling the world until I fall asleep. I don’t know if I actually want to travel, but there must be someplace on this earth where he can’t find me.

  “Step out into the hall. I’ll show you the way.”

  My bare feet slide across the floor.

  “Yessssss…follow my voice.”

  Fear pinches the back of my throat. Don’t…

  But my feet don’t listen. They carry me past the ultra-modern kitchen, through the short entryway, to the door. I grab my key and step out onto the stiff, industrial carpet of the empty hallway.

  “This way…”

  His voice sounds farther away, closer to the elevators.

  My chest tightens. Don’t do it. I move away from my door.

  “This way…”

  My throat starts to close. Turn back. Before it’s too late.

  “Come…”

  A solitary light blinks on in the middle of the hall.

  “Closer…”

  I stop. What am I doing? I dive back into the penthouse and let the door slam and lock behind me. But hiding in here won’t keep the voice out. Nothing will.

  “Jaaade….”

  I run to my room and turn the speaker on. The last song I played tumbles from the small round device on my dresser and fills the room. I climb into bed and pull the sheets up to my chin.

  I hear nothing but the heavy drums and alternat
ive melody.

  7

  How’s Your Head

  “Can you drop these off in the mail room by noon?” My father dumps a thick pile of legal envelopes on the desk. “They need return address labels. I’m out. I need you to order me some more.” His heavy-lidded eyes graze over my face. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” I slide the bundle closer.

  “You seem tense.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know. It’s been busy.”

  He stares at me a moment longer. “Is everything okay?”

  I frown at him. “Yes,” I say slowly. I rack my brain for anything odd that I might have said or done in front of him recently, but I can’t think of anything that would cause him to drop everything for even two seconds and ask me how I’m doing.

  “How have you been?”

  “Perfect.” Except for this demoralizing job you gave me.

  He nods, more to himself. “Well, I’ll be out for the rest of the day. We’re flying down to Houston. We’ll be back in the morning.”

  On cue, my brother comes around the corner with Astrid and a cluster of men from upper management. He gives me a bright grin on his way to the elevator. Important businessman stuff. How fun for him. I wave to him and dial the number for our office suppliers.

  Why does that man always wait until he’s run out of everything? I use my backup return labels and affix them to the envelopes while I place the order.

  There’s always a buzz that hangs in the air of the main hallway. Fragments of conversations, ringing office phones, the elevators, the electronic equipment. I never realized how much I appreciate that until now. It makes it easier to stay out of my head. And when I can do that, I don’t have to worry about hearing phantom voices.

  “Hey, kid, what are you doing?”

  I look up from the stack of envelopes to see Uncle Arthur smiling at me from across my desk. “Hey!” I return his smile and give him a stack of envelopes to affix labels to. He helps automatically, and continues talking.

  “Why don’t you get someone to cover for you? Cece and Enid are downstairs. We’re grabbing some coffee and taking it over to the greenway.” He finishes his stack and gathers all the envelopes in his arms. “I’ll get David to do it.” He leaves without waiting for a response.